What A Bunch Of Geeks

For the last year I have done very little. My level of fitness and my waistline both show it. Recently I decided that I have to get back into the swing of things, so I started training again. It is difficult to get back into it, but that is a story for another day.

In the 26 years since I competed in m first triathlon I have acquired more than a few books on the subject, so I started looking over a few of them. The major thought I had in this was what the hell has happened to us. The answer must be that we have become the biggest bunch of geeks the sports world has ever known.

In the years shortly after the whole triathlon thing started life was simple and so were we. That was only 30 years ago. Not so much any more. In the old days we wore speedos for the entire race, even on our 12 speed steel framed bikes without areobars. We talked in terms of mileage and speed. We were tough and we had fun.

Now you need a post graduate dregree and to be taught the secret handshake to be a triathlete. Get this, one plan tells me my thursday ride should be "F1d 1:30". I looked up what that meant an here is what it said.

F1d Fast-pace long climbs. Ride in heart rate Zones 1-5a on a hilly course with long (6+ minutes), steady climbs of 4-6 percent grades. Power should be at CP12 on climbs. Climb mostly seated at 60-70 rpm.

First off where I am going to find a course with several 6+ minute climbs? Of course I have to have a heart rate monitor to make sure I am in zones 1-5a. When did we add a, b, and c to zone 5 and who is responsible for that added bit of confusion? I have to take my handy GPS device out to make sure I am on a 4-6 percent grade. After I find out what the hell CP12 means I have to go out and buy a power meter to make sure I am doing it. I also need to make sure that I have a cadence measuring device to keep me at that 60-70 rpm.

So I decide to do this workout the way it is written. It is impossible. I have to work overtime on the Thursday I was supposed to do it, because I needed the money to pay for all the crap I need for the workout. If I did manage to get to the workout I have to drive to a suitable course, which of course I had to spend time searching for and making sure of the distance and grade of the hills. Now I have to make sure that I have charged up or have good batteries in all my gear. It would be impossible for me to ride without it. You get the point by now.

Why could this not be the workout. Ride for 1:30 on a course with some long steady climbs. Ride easy between the climbs and steady on the hills. Stay seated as much as possible on the climbs and keep a cadence about 60% of what you ride on the flats.

Same thing without the fancy codes and gee wiz gadgets. All I need is a watch, and it can be a cheap one.

We have become a sport of high tech bullshit where guys shave their legs, we wear skin tight clothing and pointy helmets, train in all weather at ungodly hours of the day and night, and dream of abusing ourselves in Lava fields. With all that going for us we of course needed to develop our own secret code so no non triathlete could understand us. Kind of reminds me of hearing Tom Cruse talk about Scientology.

There is an old principle that I would like to introduce into the triathlon world. That is K.I.S.S., which means keep it simple stupid. Following this principle will be repulsive to some. If that is you take a moment to reflect on the fact that you may be an elitist with serious issues of inadequecy. I'm just saying. I will start a section with information in the near future. If you have a good coach who works with you as an individual and not as another paycheck in exchange for a canned workout they give to everybody ingnore that section of the website. A good coach is a great luxury and will be of much greater benefit than my ramblings. I will give general tips on what I think about training. I will not give out schedules. I do not know anything about your daily life and really don't care enough to tell you what to do on a daily basis.

In the intrest of full disclosure I own several heart rate monitors which I wear every once in a great while. I also have a Garmin 305 I use for mapping courses to put on the web. It offers the ability to post elevation profiles, which is really cool because all the geeks want to know.